The Day My Toothbrush Broke My Toe!

A humourous Arnica and CBD testimony.

You know those moments in life that remind you just how fragile the human body is? Moments that make you question your mortality? Moments that begin with a perfectly ordinary electric toothbrush?

This is one of those stories.

It all started on an innocent Tuesday morning. I was standing in the bathroom, half awake, attempting to perform the highly skilled task of brushing my long suffering teeth while simultaneously thinking of 100 other things.

Then disaster struck.

My electric toothbrush slipped from my hand.

Now, if you've never dropped an electric toothbrush, you might imagine it gently bouncing off the sink doing a pirouette and landing harmlessly on the floor. That's what I would have expected too.

Instead, gravity apparently decided to turn my toothbrush into a precision-guided missile.

The toothbrush plummeted directly onto my third toe.

The impact was immediate.

The pain was biblical.

The face was like King Lear on Stormy night...

I let out a noise that can only be described as a cross between a wounded walrus and a malfunctioning kettle. My entire body froze. I hopped around the bathroom clutching my foot while inventing several new dance moves that should never be attempted by anyone in public.

For the next ten minutes, I was convinced I had shattered every bone in my toe.

"That's it," I thought. "I've broken it. My toe is gone. They'll probably have to amputate." This is definitely going in my iPhone medical profile as the day my toothbrush broke my toe!

This was, admittedly perhaps, a slight overreaction to a possessed dental hygiene device, but in the moment it felt entirely reasonable.

The rest of the day was spent limping dramatically and telling anyone who would listen about my tragic accident. I was essentially the victim of a toothbrush-related assault.

The real horror arrived the next morning.

I looked down and discovered a bruise that snuck up on me overnight like some sort of modern art project. My toe had transformed into a fascinating blend of purple, blue, and angry red.

It looked less like a toe and more like a small bruised plum attached to my foot.

Naturally, I was horrified.

Every time I looked at it, I became more convinced that I would never moonwalk again. Future historians would probably refer to this event as "The Great Toothbrush Incident."

Then I remembered something.

Of Course!! I had my trusty arnica & CBD balm.

With nothing to lose except my dignity and my toe nail, I started applying the balm regularly to the bruised area.

Now, I'm not claiming miracles...I'm not saying tiny angels descended from the heavens and blew trumpets and twanged harps and magically healed my foot buuut....

What I am saying is that the results surprised me.

The relief was amazing, the swelling settled, and the dramatic collection of colours decorating my toe started fading faster than expected.

By day three, the bruise had largely disappeared. Just a touch of colour left

Three days!

Meanwhile, I had already mentally prepared myself for months of rehabilitation, specialist consultations, and perhaps a documentary about murdered household appliances buried under the porch.

Instead, my toe returned to normal, my walking recovered, and the toothbrush was allowed to remain in the house under strict supervision.

The lesson here?

First, never underestimate the destructive potential of a mean falling electric toothbrush.

Second, gravity is not your friend for more than one reason!

And third, sometimes the solution to a bruised ego and a bruised toe is already sitting on your shelf in the form of a good arnica CBD-infused pain balm.

As for the toothbrush, well we're still together. But the trust is kinda gone and I now have a climbers safety lanyard attached to the thing, and going forward this day will now be celebrated with weird dances, ugly face pulling and expletives as - the The Day My (itinerant) Toothbrush Broke My Toe...But was saved from Recycling Tuesdays by Arnica and CBD!